And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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