apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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