Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize