girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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