just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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