I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
