What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
