My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
