As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
