i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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