these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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