Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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