i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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