I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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