can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
