I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
