i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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