there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Boobs are out for the taking
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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