Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
