I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
