She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize