Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I deserve to be covered in dicks
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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