Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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