Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
