Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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