I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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