this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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