she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
