I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.