...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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