pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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