so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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