i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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