My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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