There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
