I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
