Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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