i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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