I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
