Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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