My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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