I forgot how hot balto sounded
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
