You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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