what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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