I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
