We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
