i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
