So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
