Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
