We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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