and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
