i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize