I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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