What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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