she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
vagina is talking i cant
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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