it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
