she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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