you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
