We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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