how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
