So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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