I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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