I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your cock deserves a montage
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
