he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Found your dick twin last night
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize