Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Your tits are I can't wait for
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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